Needs

You said your needs weren’t being met
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you
Or at least say it so you’d understand
I’m not mad or hoping for change
But it’s just on my mind
You’d ask for certain things
And always respect my answer
But I got the feeling it was really hard for you
It’s frustrating because that was never my desire
You didn’t want to hurt me and I didn’t want to hurt you
You’d ask for things and I couldn’t answer
Because part of me still lived in fear, or constant questioning
And this was on my mind
I’d say no because I was scared
And I know that I might hurt you
I didn’t want to think of him when I was next to you
His body on mine, when I said no, would drill into my mind
I knew I’d have a panic attack or I’d probably start to cry
I thought it wasn’t fair you you
To have me react that way
I hope this doesn’t come as an excuse
That’s really not what it is
I can’t explain it clearly
But I hope you understand
I just couldn’t bring myself to that place
Especially when I was with you
Because he took something from me then
A little piece of mine
It’s something I’m still working through
It’s sometimes hard to find
He couldn’t care less
And you cared so much more
I just thought it would hurt us both
But I never said that to you
I think it took not just from me but also some from you
But I’ll take it slowly and as a sign
Now there’s peace of mind
I’m improving still and by myself
That’s just how it is
The responsibility is all on me
My growth is my own change
I’m proud of who I am now
And who I will become
You gave me water sun and love
But it’s time to just move on
A bird came by and plucked me up
Carried by the breeze
I’ll land where wind will set me down
And continue for the sky

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